Karin again. Amy woke up yesterday night, but when we thought we had the worst behind us we might have thought wrong. Ever since she woke up she has been doing nothing but throwing up. Even when there was nothing left. The doctors have given her medicine against it, but it still hasn’t calmed down yet. She also has a serious fever going on. If it doesn’t end this night, they have to open her up again to see if they missed something or if something went wrong. If you will, please keep her in your thoughts tonight. This has been such an exhausting day.
Thank you again for reading and for any support whatsoever.
This is a repost from her tumblr to keep all of you without tumblr up to date. She does get these messages, too. I send them right along so don't worry about her not knowing you care... She knows.
“It’s a long way and it’s come to claim her.”
I’ve been listening to that song for the past days now and yeah those two lines stuck to me about my situation. *deep sigh* I’ve been very scared for this moment, to actually talk about it. But I think it’s fair to a lot of people to know what has been the news the doctor’s gave me. So here we go.
To all my new followers and to every follower to be honest, read this if you don’t want to get into drama stuff. Seriously.
Well, it all felt a bit like déjà vu from a couple of months ago, right? The almost dying and surgery and yeah just all that. Karin has been amazing so I see and she has been to me too. I went into surgery and they managed to remove the tumor from my colon, which is really good work of the doctor’s, honestly they are the best. But it doesn’t take away the fact that I still have a very agressive form of cancer which tries to ‘eat’ his way through organs and tissue. I still have a lot of damaged tissue inside of me which is riskful to remove at this point. (You have no idea how long this even took to write and how long I waited to type the next thing. I just.. okay)
With all this knowledge, with all what the doctor’s know they have come to a conclusion which is based on tests and what they have seen in surgery and still with these kind of forms it’s still guessing work, but they try to be as accurate as they can in such cases.
I’m pretty much dying and I have at the least one year to live, but probably months. Chemo could slow down the progress, but that will only buy me one more month, maybe not even that. So, I’ve made the decision to not go with chemo and to spend my days hopefully as much out of the hospital as I can. I need to go to the hospital a lot for tests, to see how it progresses, to see if they can remove more with surgery to get me more comfortable, to help with meds etc.. But yeah one year at the most.
I should change my life goals I think haha, maybe from wanting to make a world trip to make it to next month to see the movie “Lawless” with my babe Tom Hardy <333 and to Christmas when I get to see Anique hopefully again. And just yeah need to change things.
I should stop now because I’m crying rivers here and ugh everything hurts because of that. So yeah, it’s just harsh that with all the figthing I’ve been trying to do. Yeah wait, I should stop. No complaining seriously. Almost hopped on that train! Wow, sorry!
Thank you all so much for your love and support and messages, omg I’ve seen so many already and it’s really incredible how much of you all care and support ;___; I have now to be precise 394 messages, so I don’t think I will answer those, at least not everything, because wow, you guys! But I have an idea how to make up for it. Just know that I read every single one of them. That they are all appreciated and that I couldn’t be more grateful. I should stop I can’t see the screen anymore, it’s all blurred haha!
Just yeah, you made me feel so loved, but just know that you are all loved by me too!
Amy has woken up. I still can’t believe it myself nor the doctors. She is however in a lot of pain though. I can see that it’s too much, but she’s stubborn and not letting anyone show. The part that I’ve been worried about is that she hasn’t been talking at all, not a word. The doctor’s think it’s because of the pain or of a deep emotional state she might be in. I don’t know, but it’s scaring the hell out of me. All she has been doing is holding my hand tight while crying silently.
I don’t know what to do other than pop in a tom hardy movie for her. I don’t know her favourite, but hopefully it will help her a bit. Anyway she is awake and we still need to hear the official status of her which will be tomorrow. It can’t be anything good, but we are hopefull nonetheless. She is holding on with what she has left.
Hello, this is Karin again.
Amy is out of surgery and is now in a deep sleep state. She is not in a coma, but the next 24 hours are crucial. Her heart rate is very slow and can stop any time. Her body has endured a lot last night, which she shouldn’t have gone through in her state but has any way. They did succeed to remove the tumor and some more bad tissue, but fact remains that there is still so much left. If her breathing stops the machines will take it over, but they can’t do that forever. These next hours will be very hard for us because so much depends on it.
The good news is that she isn’t in a coma, she is breathing on her own. And she is young so her heart can pop up sooner than people who aren’t that young. That is all I can give you. I’m very sorry.
The surgery is still going on, we don’t have any news yet. They’ve only come once to let us know that they got her heart rate back and put her into an induced coma. They are now working hard to remove the tumor and any bad tissue blocking her lungs.The only hope we have is that she will survive the surgery and that she might wake up again. They don’t say much, but we know the looks.
I’m going off the internet now, I’m very sorry, but I can’t stay on the internet for much longer. I will be back tomorrow morning with good or bad news. I’m sure that with any news I’ll get tonight that I’ll need some time. I won’t leave you hanging. Tomorrow morning, I promise.
She has received some more unfortunate news and it would be great for her to know she's in your thoughts.
From her post:
]So, have been going through multiple tests and scans today and they found out that I have a rare and very aggressive type of cancer, who attacks all organs and good tissue that comes in their way. Basically I’m dying and it’s going fast.
They don’t know how fast and how long I have, till after the surgery on Monday and after the big one for my tumor at my colon. Then come the possibilities of chemo and how that will help and medicines and all that crap. I’m like a bomb that can explode any minute, but they are pressuring it down with medicines and what more.
I sent Amy a couple of texts and I tried calling her last night when it all got too much for me. I hate phone calls but I’m just so worried, and I know a lot of others here are worried as well. Of course no one answered, I didn’t expect another outcome really, so I left a voicemail message just in case
I just received this text from her phone:
this is Amy’s father. I did not listen to your voicemail message, but I assume you’re one of her internet friends. I’m sorry if this is late, but I can only be here a couple of days a week. Unfortunately things are looking very bad for Amy and it can still go the wrong way, but she’s still fighting really hard. I’m sorry for not calling you, but I have to be off again. Thank you for your support, Tommy”
Anique thank you so much for doing all of this ;____; you’re an absolutely amazing person and we love you so much. Let’s hope Amy can keep on fighting.